At singles events, women come in groups and are reluctant to talk to men.
In online situations, women say they want desperately to meet a nice guy like me, but never answer my response to their profile. They have a lot of dating options, they’re building their careers, and there isn’t a clear urgency to settle down.
I thought that since I was an attractive, fit, well-educated, financially and emotionally secure guy that I would have no problem finding a woman in her mid 30s to settle down with and start a family.
I have tried a combination of online dating, speed dating, professional singles events, volunteering, happy hours etc. I thought that online dating would be great since you are essentially pre-screening people for dates.
As I said before, guys reserve their deepest level of respect and attraction for those women who are independent and confident in their own life, with or without a man.
Remember, when a guy is attracted solely by looks, he has then formed in his mind a singular challenge.
When I feel something strongly, I can’t help but let it show — which is different from John.
Jocelyn is a writer, blogger and the creator of Speaking of China, a blog about love, family and relationships in China, including AMWF love. You can find her writing in The Wall Street Journal, The Huffington Post, the anthologies "How Does One Dress to Buy Dragonfruit? Jocelyn is fluent in Chinese and working on a memoir.
I know, I know — one of my most popular posts talks about the troubling Chinese mother-in-law relationship. John actually expressed this with a Chinese saying: shàng dé liao tīngtáng, xià dé liao chúfáng (上得了厅堂，下得了厨房), or someone who can “meet guests (i.e. When I returned to China for the second time in 2001 (after a year of teaching English from 1999 to 2000), I actually went alone — something that led my husband to privately dub me a “hero” (which is kind of funny to me! And while I know it sure doesn’t rank highest on the courage-meter, it’s definitely a sweet thing to appreciate. Some readers might remember I wrote about how my husband helped me learn to love my curves — so it’s no wonder he considers this one of my “assets”! My filial piety — whether towards his parents or towards other elders, like my grandma. Good póxí guānxì (婆媳关系, relationship between me and my mother-in-law). He said so for many reasons, but the fact that I’m a vegan and still make him his favorite meats — such as red-braised pork — definitely counts towards this! But it’s kind of nice to have a man who loves that I’m a nerd. We may have three inches of separation between us, but he’s still proud to have a wife who stands taller. You might say we balance each other, an “emotional yin-yang.” 4. I’ll be honest, I blushed at first when he told me this. What a great way to honor the Western women in your life — or just honor us in general — during the month that includes International Women’s Day. And even better, Centaur started it off with his own Top 10 List: 1) Your eyes. But take note – this is absolutely NOT the same as the old idea of “playing hard-to-get”.